Jimmy reads his favorite fan-submitted #AwkwardBreakup tweets!
"Neither of us knew what to do so we high fived"
That break up ended kind of nice, right? Everyone loves a high five.
i need to get fucked by something other than my life
Where can i hire someone to give me money
A person’s tumblr tells a lot about them. It shows what kind of images they see in their head, who they love, who they hate, even what they think about other people.
i’m looking for someone that actually care about me. Please tell me if you see this person.
Running seems like a great idea until you actually start running
having siblings is weird bc like one minute u want to strangle them with their own intestines and then later ur singing dramatic duets together
my best friend just realized 30 minutes before her curfew that she’s an hour away from home in the most dangerous part of the city alone with the buses no longer running so she calls the police to take her home i cant stop laughing
update the cop that came to pick her up is a hot 20 year old guy thats flirting with her and now im not laughing anymore
SHE FUCKING HOOKED UP WITH THE COP
excuse me mom but whoever smelt it dealt it so it is in fact YOU who’s doing the weed
Seeing people the same age as you doing awesome things with their life
i was funny once but it was an accident
There are some automatic toilets that need 2 chill the fuck out
did i allow u to have fun without me
christmas is so much worse as you get older it’s like “what do you want this year?” “a sense of purpose”